Shoppers of queer stories are turning to candid voices on dating and non-monogamy; Aidan Wharton’s Gay Buffet and Getting Close podcast explore open relationships, digital friction and why earnestness matters , useful, humane advice for anyone navigating dating apps, cohabitation or polyamory.

Essential Takeaways

  • Popular host: Aidan Wharton runs the Gay Buffet newsletter and hosts the Getting Close podcast, where he explores sex, relationships and non-traditional partnerships.
  • Open-relationship focus: He’s been interviewing open and poly couples to understand long-term dynamics and how relationships evolve over time.
  • Digital squeeze: Wharton argues dating apps and social platforms compress the time and space relationships need to grow, making each encounter feel high stakes.
  • Practical dating tips: Be earnest, say what you mean, and favour face-to-face plans over agonising about text habits.
  • New credentials: He’s training as a sex educator with the Sexual Health Alliance to better answer listeners’ questions.

Why Aidan Wharton’s voice matters now

Aidan’s blend of humour and earnestness lands in an era when queer stories are finally centre-stage and also muddied by fast-swiping culture. He’s built Gay Buffet into a go-to Substack and carries that sensibility onto Getting Close, which you can find on platforms such as Apple Podcasts and Spotify. The result feels conversational, sharp and practical, with a soft edge of lived experience , the kind that makes you nod and scribble down a line of advice mid-listen.

How open relationships look in his interviews

Wharton’s interviews show that many open or poly relationships didn’t start as “open” from day one; they grew into that form after partners spent years building trust together. That historical arc , spending time in the same classroom, workplace or neighbourhood , is rarer now. For people exploring ethical non-monogamy, the takeaway is simple: invest time and shared projects, not just dates. That slow-building approach often yields a sturdier, less reactive partnership.

The problem with compressed connection on apps

He points out that dating apps create super-high-stakes first dates because we expect instant chemistry and quick decisions. Platforms flood people with options and rejection, and that constant exposure reshapes how we feel about each encounter. If you find yourself ghosted or over-analysing a slow reply, remember it’s often the platform’s fault, not the person’s. Try arranging another in-person meet-up rather than letting a few texts decide the whole thing.

Earnestness as a superpower in modern dating

One of his clearest pieces of advice is to drop the games and be earnest. Say you liked someone, or say you don’t , it saves emotional energy and reduces confusion. He also suggests resisting the impulse to let digital friction dictate your feelings: if someone’s a slower texter but a great companion in person, make more face-time and fewer chat-based verdicts. It’s good, simple medicine for anyone tiring of performative courtship.

From podcast to practice: sex education and further help

To better support listeners, Aidan is pursuing certification with the Sexual Health Alliance. That move signals a shift from commentator to more formal educator, which matters if you’re seeking reliable answers about consent, boundary-setting or safer sex in non-monogamous setups. Look for his practical guidance on the podcast and newsletter, and treat it as a friendly primer rather than clinical therapy.

Closing line It’s a small shift to be more earnest and make time for in-person connection , but it might be the difference between a high-stakes swipe and a real relationship.

Source Reference Map

Story idea inspired by: [1]

Sources by paragraph: