A two-year US friendship survey suggests LGBTQ+ people may feel less lonely and more satisfied with life when they have friends who share their identity. The findings also point to the value of broader queer connections, offering a useful reminder that friendship can provide understanding and support, even when people’s experiences aren’t identical.

The right friendship can ease loneliness

A friend who understands the shorthand of your life can make a real difference. In a study drawing on the American Friendship Project, LGBTQ+ participants with at least one friend of the same identity reported greater life satisfaction and less loneliness than those without such a friend, Michigan State University reported.

That doesn’t mean every friendship needs to be a perfect mirror. Participants who had a queer friend with a similar, but not identical, identity also reported better well-being than those with no LGBTQ+ friends. [2], [3]

A queer friend can offer more than common ground

The researchers explored how friendship and identity relate to well-being, including the role of LGBTQ+ friends in people’s social networks. The findings suggest that having a queer friend may be beneficial whether that person shares the participant’s specific sexual identity or is part of the wider LGBTQ+ community.

The study’s authors also noted that queer communities can offer connection, support and solidarity. For some people, those friendships can feel like a chosen family, particularly when traditional family relationships don’t provide the same sense of belonging. [3], [4]

What the study can - and can’t - tell us

The findings come from survey data, so they show an association between friendship and reported well-being; they don’t establish that having a particular friend directly causes someone to feel better. That distinction matters: people’s circumstances, support networks and experiences can all shape how they feel.

Still, the pattern is worth noticing. The results point to the potential value of both close identity-based friendships and broader queer connection, rather than suggesting there’s only one kind of supportive friendship. [3], [5]

Why shared identity may matter in everyday life

A friend with a similar identity may understand certain experiences without needing a long explanation. That can make ordinary moments feel easier, from talking through an awkward encounter to sharing the relief of being understood.

But no single friendship can meet every need, and people’s experiences aren’t interchangeable. The research offers a gentle prompt to value relationships that bring acceptance and connection, whether they’re rooted in a shared identity or in a wider sense of community. [4], [6]

Building connection doesn’t need a perfect formula

For anyone hoping to widen their circle, the practical takeaway is simple: look for spaces where conversation feels comfortable and people are treated with respect. LGBTQ+ groups, community events and interest-based meet-ups can all create opportunities to connect, though nobody needs to turn friendship into a project.

And if one friend just gets it, that matters too. These findings are a reminder that feeling understood can be part of a supportive life, even when a study can’t capture every small, human detail. [3], [7]

It's worth making room for the friendships that help you feel seen.

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