A new YouGov poll suggests that one in five lesbian women in the UK wouldn’t date a bisexual woman, exposing a striking gap between broad public acceptance and private dating preferences. The findings, released around Bisexual Visibility Day, also point to age, insecurity and persistent stereotypes as forces shaping who gets welcomed into queer relationships.
Essential Takeaways
- One in five: Around 20% of lesbian women surveyed said they wouldn’t date a bisexual woman.
- Age matters: The figure was lower among younger lesbians and considerably higher among older respondents, although the oldest group was small.
- A wider contrast: Gay men were less likely to reject dating bisexual men, while separate polling found many straight women were unwilling to date bisexual men.
- Stereotypes linger: Fears about cheating, uncertainty and relationship dissatisfaction featured among the reasons given.
- Acceptance isn’t everything: Most Britons held either a positive or neutral view of bisexual people, but that didn’t always translate into dating openness.
The headline finding is uncomfortable but clear
The poll’s central figure is hard to miss. One in five lesbian women in Britain said they wouldn’t date a bisexual woman, a result that puts a very visible crack in the idea that general acceptance automatically leads to romantic acceptance. YouGov’s findings were reported by DIVA around Bisexual Visibility Day. [4]
The difference is even more pronounced by age. About one in 10 lesbian women aged 18 to 34 expressed this view, compared with one in five among those aged 35 to 54. Among respondents aged 55 and over, the figure rose to 53%, though that result came from a relatively small group of 76 people. [6]
That caveat matters, but so does the pattern. Dating preferences can reflect personal experience, social attitudes and the cultural messages people absorbed long before bisexuality became more openly discussed.
Why bisexual women still face suspicion
Bisexual people continue to encounter familiar assumptions: that they’re indecisive, secretly gay or lesbian, more likely to cheat, or simply experimenting. For bisexual women, those ideas can become especially frustrating because their identity is often judged through the lens of whichever partner they happen to be with. [7]
The survey found that relationship insecurity was the most common explanation among people who said they wouldn’t date a bisexual person. Some respondents worried about infidelity, while others feared a bisexual partner would feel they were missing something available only in a relationship with someone of the same sex. [4]
None of those concerns is unique to bisexual relationships, of course. Monogamy, trust and compatibility are negotiated by couples of every orientation. The problem comes when an entire group is treated as inherently less reliable before an individual has even had the chance to show who they are.
Acceptance in public, hesitation in private
There’s a revealing tension in the numbers. Some 89% of Britons said they had either a positive or neutral view of bisexual people, while only 8% viewed them negatively. Yet willingness to date bisexual people was much more uneven. [2]
As YouGov’s Matthew Smith explained to DIVA, apparent acceptance doesn’t necessarily become a willingness to form a relationship. That distinction is important because people can support equality in principle while still carrying intimate assumptions that affect their choices. [4]
The broader polling picture shows the imbalance isn’t limited to lesbian dating. YouGov found that roughly two-thirds of straight women were unwilling to date a bisexual man, while coverage by LGBTQ Nation highlighted a sharper contrast between straight women’s attitudes towards bi men and straight men’s openness to bi women. [3]
The dating gap cuts across different communities
The figures suggest bisexual men may face a particularly strong dating penalty from straight women. The reasons are often tied to gendered ideas about masculinity, sexuality and sexual health, rather than evidence about any particular person. [5]
Meanwhile, the findings about lesbian women and bisexual women point to a different but related set of anxieties. Some lesbians may worry about being compared with men, losing a partner to a man, or being treated as part of a transitional phase. Those fears can feel personal, but they’re also shaped by long-running cultural stereotypes about bisexuality. [7]
It’s worth resisting a simplistic conclusion that one community is more prejudiced than another. The survey is better understood as a snapshot of different pressures operating in different dating cultures. The same label can attract different assumptions depending on who is wearing it and who is making the choice.
What the figures can and can’t tell us
Polls are useful for showing broad attitudes, but they don’t explain every individual story. A respondent saying they wouldn’t date a bisexual person may be describing a firm orientation preference, a past hurt, a lack of familiarity or an assumption they’ve never examined closely. The result tells us what people report, not necessarily how those views might change through real-life relationships. [6]
Sample size is another important consideration, particularly for the oldest lesbian group. A result based on 76 participants can still be notable, but it should be read cautiously rather than treated as a definitive picture of every lesbian woman over 55. [4]
Even so, the findings give bisexual visibility a practical edge. They suggest that representation isn’t only about seeing bisexual people in media or public life; it’s also about challenging the quiet ideas that can shape attraction, trust and belonging behind closed doors. As anyone who has had their identity questioned will know, being accepted in theory can feel rather different from being chosen in practice. [7]
It’s a small distinction in wording, but a big one in real relationships.
Why this conversation matters now
Bisexual Visibility Day is designed to make bisexual lives and identities harder to overlook. This poll shows why that remains necessary: public approval can coexist with dating rules that quietly exclude bisexual people. [4]
The most useful response isn’t to pressure anyone into a relationship they don’t want. It’s to ask whether a preference is genuinely about compatibility or whether it rests on a stereotype that has been allowed to pass as common sense. That’s a more constructive conversation, and one that leaves room for trust to grow.
Greater visibility won’t erase every insecurity, but it can make those assumptions easier to spot. And once they’re visible, they can finally be questioned.
Acceptance means more when it survives the journey from public opinion to private life.
Source Reference Map
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