Shoppers are turning to backyard pool parties as the go-to Fourth of July fix , and in Richmond one DIY fête proved why. Daddy’s Grotto, a neighbour-hosted pool party, drew a sweaty, ecstatic queer crowd with bands, a trans mosh pit, cheap jerk chicken and a real sense of community.

Essential Takeaways

  • Local legend: Daddy’s Grotto began in 2018 and has become Richmond’s unofficial Fourth gathering, run from Brad Kutner and his husband’s backyard.
  • Music-packed: The line-up mixed dreamy pop, punk and hardcore , from Ionna’s Kate-Bush vibes to The Get Off’s Riot Grrrl energy and Trapcry’s commanding set.
  • Pool + people: The 15-foot pool and shaded spots kept things tactile and humid; fans, generators and a free keg added to the DIY atmosphere.
  • Food and drinks: Kwan’s Chicken Project served jerk plates for about $12, glizzies were $5, plus three types of communal “Daddy’s Juice” and BYOB flexibility.
  • Community-first: The address stays off socials , you “ask a queer” to get in , which builds intimacy and a sense of belonging.

A heap of summer heat and an even bigger vibe

It was 250 years since the nation’s founding and about 250 degrees by feel, which made a pool the unquestioned star of the day. Arriving early, the party felt like a slow burn: people showed up looking sharp, skin glistening, but the real momentum only came when bands kicked off mid-afternoon. The humid air, the box fans, the occasional generator sputter , these micro-details made everything feel lived-in and immediate.

How a backyard became a city ritual

Brad Kutner didn’t set out to run a city staple; he moved to Richmond, went to VCU, and kept chasing the kind of parties he loved in college. The pandemic nudged the idea into being , their pool and a small pod of friends turned into an annual blowout once vaccines rolled out. Over the years the pool grew from 13 to 15 feet and so did the guest list, proving that grassroots gatherings can scale without losing personality.

Bands, mosh pits and moments you won’t forget

The music was eclectic by design. Ionna opened with dreamy, interactive pop; Glop King brought synthy beats; Strawberry Moon offered a funky-punk pocket; The Get Off unleashed a trans-friendly hardcore mosh that many described as cathartic; Pharaoh Sistare channelled early Michael Jackson swagger; and Trapcry closed with a magnetic performance that had the crowd singing along. If you care about local line-ups and discovering new sounds, this kind of variety is gold.

Why “ask a queer” matters for community building

The party’s address isn’t online , you have to “ask a queer.” Kutner says this small gatekeeping creates connection and keeps the space special. It’s less about exclusion and more about curation: people meet through friends, build trust, and show up for one another. The approach also helps preserve safety and an inclusive atmosphere where, yes, trans folks can even find a mosh pit made for them.

Practical tips if you want to host or find a similar event

If you’re inspired to throw or seek out a backyard pool party, keep it simple: pick a compact pool, provide shaded seating, plan a loose but strong music slot list, and sort simple food and drink options (think $5 sausages, $12 plates). Don’t forget a little infrastructure , fans, a backup generator, and clear 21+ rules if you want to keep it adult-focused. Most importantly, think about how people will feel welcomed and safe; a small, human entry point goes a long way.

It’s a small change that can make every party feel like home.

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