Shoppers are turning to targeted group therapy: RECLAIM, a compassion‑focused programme at 56 Dean Street in London, is helping gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men rebuild their relationships with sex and pleasure, reduce risky behaviours and find safer ways to cope with shame and loneliness.

Essential Takeaways

  • Proven results: Around 86% of men completing the programme showed meaningful clinical improvement in compulsive sexual behaviour.
  • High retention: The programme engages men who typically avoid services, with roughly 84% completion among starters.
  • No abstinence rule: RECLAIM doesn’t prescribe stopping sex or drugs; it asks what sex is doing for you and what you’d prefer instead.
  • Compassion-based: The group uses Compassion-Focused Therapy to address shame, self‑criticism and isolation.
  • Peer-led feel: Sessions are run in a gay and bi‑led space, which participants say helps them feel understood and safe.

Why a group, not just one‑to‑one therapy?

Group work turns private shame into shared experience, and that shift can be quietly dramatic. According to the team behind RECLAIM, men often arrive convinced their behaviour is uniquely shameful and unfixable. In a room where others say “me too”, that isolation starts to lift, and people can reflect rather than react. The first session is usually the hardest, but within two or three meetings participants begin recognising themselves in others, which fuels trust. For many, that recognition is the thing individual therapy didn’t give them.

How Compassion‑Focused Therapy changes the conversation

Compassion‑Focused Therapy (CFT) is designed for people who are hard on themselves, and that fits the experience of many gay and bi men navigating sex and identity. CFT doesn’t pathologise sexual desire; it explains how coping behaviours, sex, apps, chemsex, can begin as relief and then escalate into harm. The programme teaches practical self‑care skills and emotion regulation alongside group reflection, so men learn both why patterns exist and how to respond differently. The tone is practical and humane: it asks what works in someone’s life now and what they might prefer, rather than imposing an idealised notion of “recovery”.

Who the programme reaches , and why that matters

RECLAIM is open to anyone over 18; attendees have ranged from their twenties into their sixties, which underlines that these struggles can persist for decades. The clinicians note that services have historically missed men who don’t fit the typical treatment mould, those combined sex‑and‑drug behaviours, or men who feel alienated by mainstream therapy. The explicit decision to make the group gay and bi‑led means participants don’t have to explain the basics of their lives, from hookup apps to chemsex dynamics, so the work starts further along. Importantly, men using drugs alongside sex benefitted at similar rates to others, challenging assumptions that such groups are harder to help.

Practical takeaways if you’re considering a group like this

If you’re thinking of joining, expect the first session to be awkward and to bring nerves; that’s normal and shared. Look for programmes that: create a culturally competent space, use evidence‑based models for shame (like CFT), don’t insist on abstinence unless that’s your goal, and have facilitators who understand gay and bi cultures. Ask about session frequency (RECLAIM runs fortnightly), completion rates, and whether outcomes have been evaluated. It’s also worth checking whether the group fits your practical needs , timing, travel, and whether you’ll be comfortable in a mixed‑age room.

What the outcomes tell us about service gaps

The results from 56 Dean Street aren’t just encouraging numerics; they point to a pragmatic remedy for chronic service shortfalls. High engagement and clinical improvement suggest that a model starting from “you’re not broken” and building skills and compassion in community can reach men who’ve slipped through the cracks. For clinicians and commissioners, this is a reminder that culturally intelligent group work can be both humane and effective. For men considering help, it’s permission to seek support that meets you where you are, not where a textbook thinks you should be.

It’s a small change that can make every chew safer, and every encounter more honest.

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