Notice how bisexual people often have to argue for their own reality , whether at school, online, or in relationships , because erasure and fetishisation still shape how others see them, and that matters for safety, belonging and mental health.

Essential Takeaways

  • Widespread erasure: Bisexuality is frequently dismissed or rendered invisible when people assume a binary sexual identity.
  • Fetishisation occurs: Bisexual people , especially women and non-binary folks , are often sexualised or treated as “available” to satisfy others’ fantasies.
  • Different risks by relationship: Dating someone of another gender can mask a bisexual identity; dating the same gender can invite overt homophobia.
  • Representation helps: More nuanced bisexual characters in books and TV make a measurable difference to young people’s sense of being seen.
  • Simple supports matter: Clear language, visible role models, and respectful questions reduce pressure and stigma.

Why bisexual erasure feels so familiar , and so infuriating

Bisexual erasure isn’t just an abstract idea, it’s a daily, sensory experience: your orientation gets shrugged away in conversation, excluded from forms, or overwritten when partners are assumed to be straight or gay. According to GLAAD and academic studies, this pattern shows up across media, healthcare, and social interactions, and it chips away at a person’s sense of legitimacy. That invisible dismissal can be exhausting and demoralising, so recognising it is the first step toward change.

Backstory matters here. Bisexuality has long sat uncomfortably in public narratives that prefer clear-cut categories, and that cultural preference powers erasure. Practically, if you want to be more supportive, one simple move is to name what you mean , ask people how they identify rather than assuming , and to avoid erasing partners’ identities with casual labels.

How fetishisation plays out , and why it’s harmful

Fetishisation often sounds trivial when described as a “compliment,” but it’s about being objectified for someone else’s fantasy. Reports and personal accounts show a consistent pattern: bisexual people, especially women, receive comments that sexualise their relationships or pressure them to perform for others. The effect is a loss of intimacy and safety; your relationship becomes a spectacle rather than a private connection.

If you’re curious about how to stop this, start by checking your assumptions. Don’t turn someone’s orientation into an erotic trope, and call out sexualising comments in your circles. On a community level, creators and publication editors can refuse to frame bisexual relationships as titillating backdrops, which would help normalise respect rather than fetish.

Relationships and visibility: safety, erasure and nuance

Whether a bisexual person is perceived as straight, gay or somewhere in between often depends on who they’re dating. Dating across genders can offer a layer of visibility protection from homophobia, but that same invisibility erases bisexual identity. Conversely, dating someone of the same gender can validate a queer identity publicly while also increasing exposure to prejudice. That tension is a core reason many bisexual people describe feeling boxed in or forced to “pick a side.”

Practical tip: when supporting friends, mirror how they describe themselves and resist collapsing their identity into their current relationship. It’s a small act that keeps identity intact and reduces the pressure to prove anything.

Representation is improving , but gaps remain

Stories like Taylor Jenkins Reid’s novel and shows such as Heartstopper have helped bisexual narratives reach mainstream audiences, and that visibility matters. Researchers find that relatable characters make it easier for young people to explore and affirm their identities. Still, media representation often simplifies bisexuality into “confusion” arcs or sexualised plot points, which perpetuates stereotypes.

If you care about better portrayals, champion works that show bisexual lives across the full range , long-term relationships, family dynamics, the everyday mundanity , not just the discovery phase. Readers and viewers voting with their attention have already nudged publishers and streamers toward more varied queer storytelling.

What friends, families and institutions can do now

Change doesn’t have to be dramatic to be effective. Employers, schools and healthcare providers can update intake forms to include non-binary and bisexual options, and training can cover bisexual-specific experiences. Friends can practice simple language shifts: use inclusive pronouns, avoid reducing someone to their current partner, and listen when someone corrects you.

From a health perspective, studies highlight that bisexual people face unique mental-health risks partly tied to erasure and stigma. So being explicit , saying “I see you” and creating visible support structures , can translate into measurable wellbeing gains.

It's a small change that can make every conversation and relationship safer.

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