Shoppers of reality TV are tuning into a new kind of honesty: Zack Wickham of Bravo’s The Valley is speaking candidly about his modern, long‑distance open relationship, bringing queer visibility and practical lessons about communication to a mainstream audience.

Essential Takeaways

  • Long‑distance setup: Wickham lives in West Hollywood while boyfriend Benji Quach is based in Toronto, so distance shaped their decision to open the relationship.
  • Communication first: They credit clear rules and constant check‑ins for keeping jealousy and confusion at bay.
  • Visibility matters: Wickham says showing different sides of himself on TV helps normalise LGBTQ+ relationship structures.
  • Flexible arrangements: The couple switches between being open and closed as their needs change; there’s no single “right” model.
  • Practical vibe: Fans get aired examples of boundaries , like “if I want to know, tell me; if I don’t ask, I don’t want to know” , which many couples may adopt.

Why viewers are noticing: a fresh kind of honesty on Bravo

Reality TV has always traded on intimacy, but what feels new is the frankness around non‑monogamy and queer relationships. Zack Wickham’s conversations on The Valley carry a quiet, lived‑in authenticity , you can almost feel the relief in his voice when he talks about being able to show “other sides” of himself. According to Out, he sees that visibility as important for younger people trying to understand what loving someone can look like outside heteronormative templates.

Long distance helped shape their rules , and their trust

Distance forced practical choices. With Wickham in West Hollywood and Benji Quach in Toronto, they set explicit boundaries and communication habits that keep them grounded. The pair say opening the relationship became a way to manage loneliness without sacrificing honesty, and that regular check‑ins help prevent assumptions. For anyone in a cross‑border or long‑distance romance, the takeaway is simple: define what hurts, what’s negotiable, and when to talk.

How they talk about jealousy and acceptance , useful lines you can borrow

Wickham’s comments are refreshingly pragmatic: at times they’re open, at times they’re not, and acceptance of others entering the relationship is an ongoing adjustment. One memorable rule he mentions , “If I want to know, you have to tell me; if I don’t ask, I don’t want to know” , is a tidy example of consent around information. Couples exploring non‑monogamy might borrow this approach: spell out who needs to know what and agree on emotional check‑ins.

Why this matters beyond the show: representation and experimentation

Representation on a cable reality series matters because it normalises options. Seeing queer people negotiate intimacy on screen gives viewers alternatives to the one‑size‑fits‑all romance narrative. Wickham’s openness also invites others to experiment, emphasising that relationships can evolve , and that trying different arrangements isn’t a failure but a form of self‑knowledge.

Practical tips for couples curious about opening up

Start small and stay kind: discuss boundaries before arrangements begin, agree on how much detail you’ll share, and schedule check‑ins to recalibrate. Use distance as a testbed for rules that might be harder to revise when you live together. And remember, there’s no shame in changing your mind , the healthiest relationships often adapt as people grow.

It's a small change that can make each relationship feel more honest and less boxed in.

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