In an era dominated by swipes, ghosting, and often unkind encounters in online dating, a fresh initiative is aiming to disrupt the conventional scene by fostering genuine, sober connections among gay men. The new event R.U…Looking? is designed specifically as a sober singles night, providing an affordable and accessible environment where queer and gay men can meet face to face, away from the pressures and social dynamics of drinking venues.
Rhys’ Pieces, the organiser behind R.U…Looking?, has spoken candidly about the fatigue that many experience in the current dating culture, which is frequently marred by superficiality and the anonymity of digital interactions. Drawing from personal experience attending gay singles nights in bars, a setting often dominated by alcohol consumption, he highlights the refreshing potential of cultivating connections in sober spaces. He emphasises that sobriety brings its own challenges, particularly around anxiety, which remain present even without the crutch of substances. Therefore, R.U…Looking? is intentionally designed as a low-pressure event, avoiding the high-stakes atmosphere of speed dating, and promoting kindness, connection, and fun instead. The event includes light prompts, optional icebreakers, and activities to ease attendees into meaningful interaction.
The inaugural R.U…Looking? night will take place on Wednesday, 12 November 2025, at The Cockatoo by Bistroteque in London’s East End. The venue will be alcohol-free for the event, and attendees can expect music, a raffle, and a welcoming atmosphere tailored to sober queer men who are genuinely seeking romance, love, or connection. This concept aligns with a growing trend towards sober and mindful socialising, especially among those who wish to maintain their sobriety or who find traditional bar scenes inaccessible or unappealing.
This sober singles night is part of a broader landscape of evolving dating events in London that challenge conventional mixers. For instance, The London Connection Collective is hosting a singles night later in November that emphasises authentic connection without the mediation of dating apps, catering to singles over 30 with a no-pressure environment and inclusive dress code. Similarly, Original Dating offers themed singles parties targeted at specific age groups, like their Christmas Over 40s Singles Party focusing on facilitating organic connections through icebreakers and post-event digital matching.
Sober socialising is gaining momentum beyond singles nights. The SoberLove app is hosting its first London event aimed at mindful socialising for sober-curious or alcohol-free individuals, further establishing the value of these spaces. Events like these often include complimentary non-alcoholic drinks and foster inclusive environments that encourage openness and community building, resonating with those seeking deeper, substance-free interpersonal experiences. Source: Noah Wire Services